40 years of staying power

This weekend my husband is celebrating his 40th anniversary with his first wife (ironically, the same year I was born).  Catherine and Blair have endured the inevitable peaks and valleys that confront any relationship of that vintage. Instead of letting the many challenges erode their relationship, they have chosen to grow together, through parenting, divorce and new beginnings.

In fact, when Blair proposed to me, Catherine was the first to hear the good news. I’ll never forget the conversation we had after she demanded he put me on the line. “Jenny, you have just made the best decision of your life. Blair will be the most amazing husband and father you could ever ask for. Congratulations.” Even though their relationship had changed form, their love for each other was clearly evident.

At this point you’re likely wondering how the heck they do it, so I’ll share their winning formula.
1. They don’t sweat the small stuff: there are always opportunities to breed strife, but they let the small stuff slide.
2. They forgive quickly: I’ve witnessed them in a heated argument one moment and the next, they’re casually discussing a family matter. They get it out, address it and move on.
3. They have developed staying power: while most people skim the surface, moving from one superficial relationship to the other, Catherine and Blair remain committed to their friendship and their co-parenting responsibilities. 

Last weekend at the Berwick Yoga Fest, Peter Goodman spoke about mindfulness and the value of training the mind to stay present. When we embark on a spiritual practice—whether it’s on the cushion, the mat or in relationship—we train ourselves to stay and weather the storm (excluding abusive or unhealthy situations of course).

Where in your life could you gather your discipline and practice staying? Can you imagine the depth of fulfillment and connection that might be possible by persisting through the temptation to move on? Is there a relationship waiting for the sweetness of forgiveness in order for it to evolve?

Thank you Catherine and Blair for demonstrating staying power by enduring the imperfect and uncomfortable times to be able to celebrate this incredible landmark together.

With love for both of you,

Jenny