The Trap of Hypochondria

It’s now a running joke in my house that I’m a true Wonder Woman, having survived multiple encounters with COVID and other deadly diseases. It’s become obvious to all of us over the last year that whenever I feel tired, sick or a twinge of pain, my mind goes to the worst case scenario. 

I know this can manifest after trauma, so I’m managing my tendency toward hypochondria by grounding myself in the healing power of my body, but it’s a daily practice. Yes I’m choosing to get vaccinated and it can’t come soon enough, because dealing with such a profound traumatic loss in the midst of a pandemic has taken its toll on my sanity. Thankfully I’ve got Blair to keep me rooted in reality, not neurosis (most days). 

May this post help to shed some light on hypochondria so you too can keep yourself grounded when your midnight thoughts try to carry you into the darkness.

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I love my Mom, but she drives me crazy with her constant health issues. Each week it’s a different ailment. If she’s been around anyone with a sniffle, she’s instantly affected and sick the next day. I’m guessing she’s a hypochondriac but I’m not sure what to do about it, should I speak to her about it? 

Jenny

Thanks for writing in about this concern for your mom. Hypochondria is now referred to as ‘illness anxiety disorder’, which is characterized by constant fear and worry about having a serious illness or health condition, even with no obvious physical symptoms. If she’s quick to assume she’s got an illness from a sniffle, shows regular concerns about developing medical conditions and avoids events and people for fear of contracting something, she’s likely struggling with illness anxiety. I’m sure she’s not alone, with today’s pandemic looming. It’s easy to fall into the trap of constantly fearing that we’ve contracted a bug and taking extra, perhaps compulsive measures to stay safe. 

I know for me, since losing my youthful, energetic brother to cancer, I’ve become more concerned that it will be my demise as well. Thankfully, I have a few tools that help keep me calm and reasonable (most days).

Firstly, we need to have faith in our bodies’ amazing ability to fight pathogens and maintain a healthy baseline. After all, let’s remember that this body is a miraculous machine that is constantly multitasking on our behalf. For example, our bodies can walk through the park, absorb the nutrients of a pumpkin spice muffin, fight off autumn allergens, process toxins from the night before AND breathe us into the next moment, all at the same time. Sounds like your mom could give her body a bit more credit where credit is due. 

The opposite of fear is faith, so in moments when her fear starts to hijack her reasoning mind, she can drop into her breath, rest a hand on or over her heart space and connect to the infinite intelligence within her body.

Secondly, it is said that anxiety about health or safety stems from a fear of dying, which she may have developed from a previously traumatic experience or inherited from her parents. While it’s true that no one gets out of this human experience alive, what’s also true is that a regular practice of worrying will likely do more damage than any cold or flu bug we might catch. A powerful way of anchoring one’s attention on safety, care and wellbeing is to simply hug yourself with hands wrapped around opposite upper arms, known as the butterfly hug. Then you (or she) can start tapping gently, one hand at a time and recite an affirmation such as, “I am safe, relaxed and healthy. My body is strong and fully capable of staying well. I am grateful.”  

Finally, I’ll close with a quote by Oprah, who reminds us that we can leave our suffering behind and create a more lifegiving story for our lives.

“Step out of the history that is holding you back. Step into the new story you are willing to create.” Oprah Winfrey

Blair 

I unfortunately, can relate to your mother’s concerns, as I too have succumbed to this state of fear around my health. It wasn’t until I went to the doctor about seeing blood in my stool and was sent for a barium enema that I was able to transform my troubling behavior. For those of you who don’t know, this test is one of the most uncomfortable diagnostic tools out there, I would guess far worse than the COVID 19 nasal swab. Upon returning to my doctor with all clear results, he asked what I ate for supper the night before. My jaw dropped as he explained that beets can change the color of your stool. 

I have not had a hypochondriac attack since that time, for fear of another barium enema experience. I would not wish this on your mother but sometimes life provides us with perspective altering experiences, which can jolt us into new and freer ways of thinking. For me, the barium enema did just that.

My hypochondria was based on an unfulfilled love need, where I was seeking attention to fill that void. In terms of your mother and other people in our lives who are this way, it is important to reassure them by loving them just the way they are. At the same time, you could encourage your mom to seek help for her anxiety issues. 

Lastly, it’s important to provide a sympathetic ear for your mom but be careful not to encourage the behavior by feeding into her every concern. Avoid statements like “Oh you poor thing, this is scary, I feel so badly for you”, which may add fuel to her illness anxiety. Instead, affirm that you understand her challenges and then change the subject to detract from the rumination pattern. 

In closing, I believe that everything we do is motivated by a need and peace can only come when we learn to satisfy those needs in healthy ways. I hope that through therapy and support, your mother can discover healthier ways of managing her mental health so she can experience greater joy in her day to day life.

Have a question for Jenny and Blair? Send all inquiries to info@BreathingSpaceYogaStudio.ca