I’m Living Proof
This week Blair and I celebrated our 20th anniversary of meeting each other. On the same day, we agreed to drop in on an online mindfulness class that one of our mindfulness participant’s was leading. It was supercool that this class just happened to be for students at the very high school I graduated from, KVHS, in Quispamsis, NB.
It was very moving for me to speak about my struggles with mental health, and how multiple losses in my grade 12 year led to self-harming patterns that persisted into my twenties…and then to share how the powerful, ancient practices of mindfulness and yoga were the main resources I used to achieve full recovery from anorexia and exercise addiction. I finished my session by saying “I’m living proof that recovery is possible and there are tools and support out there that can help you with any mental health challenge you might be facing.”
Blair then guided the group on a brief practice of tuning into your inner needs and while he was speaking, I closed my eyes and gave thanks for this amazing man that I met 20 years ago at a workshop much like this one, where he was teaching mindfulness and I was teaching yoga. It was a real full circle moment.
The next day, I happened to read Sandy Lund’s post about her son, Shaun, who had been interviewed on a podcast called I’m Living Proof, dedicated to supporting those who are living with mental illness. The premise of the podcast is that guests submit letters that they’ve written to their younger selves, followed by a discussion. I listened intently as Shaun spoke about his journey through depression and bipolar at the young age of 18 and how he had to drop out of school until he got a full diagnosis and became properly medicated.
What really stood out for me was when he said “You feel like your identity has changed, you are now officially ‘mentally ill’. Trust me when I say this, nothing has changed. You are the same Shaun you were a week ago, a year ago, and a year from now. You’ve always been Shaun, this diagnosis changes nothing. You are not your mental illness. This diagnosis is just a tool professionals use to help guide your treatment from now on.”
This hit me so hard, I had to sit down and cry it out. I cried for my own inner teenager who felt so lost and broken during my eating disordered years. I cried for the intergenerational mental illness within my family that went unacknowledged and mistreated for so long, in hopes it would just go away (we now know that mental illness doesn’t go away if you ignore it, it continues to affect the life of the one who’s ill and everyone who loves them). And of course, I cried for the 22 people in NS, whose lives were claimed by a man who’s mental illness developed into violence because he didn’t feel safe enough, or didn’t have the agency within himself to seek help.
To hear Shaun talk so bravely and openly about his journey, without shame or secrecy, was heart-warming and inspiring. It was so synchronistic, to hear him declare “I’m living proof”, just as I had shared the day before.
To Shaun and to all the men growing facial hair in honor of men’s mental health, I applaud your efforts to ensure that more people join the ranks of those of us who are “I’m living proof”. Happy Movember!
PS: For anyone interested in joining our 100hr Mindfulness Certification Training, we have a few last minute spots open. (902) 444-9642.