Mindfulness & Trauma

Here is a Live conversation that Blair and I had about trauma and the importance of awareness and mindfulness for healing. Let us know your thoughts, we hope this helps.

We realize that a lot of people think that trauma is something really severe. Personally, we have had our fair share of trauma. The mass shooting in Nova Scotia happened in 2020 and at that time we were doing trauma training and preparing for our first trauma informed conference that summer. 

JENNY:

When it happened, we immediately recognized this as trauma. This was severe trauma. But there was also a recognition of, “I felt this before.” 

If I’m honest, I felt this many times before. You may even be familiar with the sense of shock and confusion and disembodiment I was feeling. 

It’s so important when we’re having a conversation about trauma to understand that that trauma can be a physical or emotional injury. It’s one that shocks our nervous system. It all depends on a person as to how they will manage and process a traumatic event. 

Some people have really strong constitutions, others not so much. It also depends on how much history of trauma that you have when you incur a trauma. They tend to be cumulative.

BLAIR:

I’ve always had what I would call separation anxiety and I never understood where it came from. Once I was talking to my Zia (aunt in Italian) and she told me that when I was a little boy, only six months old, my mother had to go to Italy for six months, and she left me with my Zia. 

When my Mom came back and I was a year old, I didn’t want to go with my real mother. I wanted to stay with my Zia, who I thought was my mother. And so she took me back into her home. 

I didn’t realize that was a trauma. At that time, in the 50s, no one would even have considered that a trauma. Years later, I can see how that one event became a triggering event for abandonment. Years later when Jenny, my wife,  would go away to study in India, I would become obsessed with stories like, “Oh no, maybe she’s not gonna come back. It’s going to happen to her.”

In therapy, I realized that it was all the different events in my life that have created the separation anxiety within me. What I use to help is cognitive therapy and awareness techniques. 

Now when she goes away and my mind starts to wonder, “Maybe she won’t come back.” I’ll consciously say to myself, She Will Be Back. Just that quick reframe helps me tremendously.

We’re passionate about this topic as it’s so timely for all of us. We’ve collectively been through a lot and are living in traumatizing times.

Trauma can be caused through personal lived experience, but it can also be incurred by witnessing someone else being traumatized, or by learning about a violence or abuse. And what are we doing on social media? 

We’re watching the war in the Ukraine unfold. We are watching the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard dynamic unfold. It all can be hard to watch, and traumatizing. 

So many times we’re on social media witnessing injustice and violence and this is another hallmark of trauma. It’s that feeling of helplessness. 

We think this is so important, which is why we’re committed to starting the dialogue on trauma.

Most of the time trauma work cannot be processed on our own. One helpful tool anyone can use is journaling.

Whether you’ve had tiny traumatic moments or you’ve experienced a larger life altering trauma, I think it’s fair to say that we are all unequipped to handle the emotional and physical manifestations of trauma alone.

All too often trauma creates a sense of despair, helplessness, confusion and disorientation. You may feel like you’re not in your body – you’re dissociating. You can feel totally disconnected and lethargic. Or you can feel like you’re running in fifth gear, and can’t stop. 

Enter mindfulness. Practicing mindfulness is a tool we can all use to help soothe ourselves when we notice a trigger. So when a past trauma is arises, there are mindfulness techniques that we can use to self soothe. 

Many people who are triggered by an event, hold their breath. As soon as you do that, it increases the trauma in the body. So what we teach is a cognitive therapy process where you repeat to yourself, “I am safe. I can breathe.”

That’s the mindfulness part. Noticing awareness is the key here in dealing with trauma. If you feel frightened or triggered, you may unconsciously hold your breath. Tell yourself aloud that you are safe, and consciously start breathing, slowly. 

Safety is so important because when someone is traumatized, they don’t feel safe. We all have the ability to be our own source of refuge and safety. And so we invite you to practice that this week.

If it feels okay, you can rest a hand on your heart space and just take a few easy breaths. Reassure yourself that you’ve got your own back, that you are on your own side.

Make the commitment to yourself that you will work toward being a source of refuge and safety for yourself. 

To summarize, if you’re feeling any kinds of levels of trauma, it’s important to feel safe. Here are a few tangible ways in which you can do that:

• Breathe deeply
• Repeat aloud to yourself, “I am safe.”
• Choose to love yourself.
• Choose to surround yourself with friends, colleagues, and co-workers who help you feel safe.
• Get out and take a walk in nature at lunch time.
• Shower yourself with love every day.

If you’re interested in exploring trauma work further, please check out our Mindfulness and Trauma Certification coming up July 20-22, 2022 in Halifax, NS. It’s for anyone who’s interested in being trauma sensitive in your workplace or leadership. It will help you improve the way you communicate with people. It will help you to understand what trauma is and how to be more sensitive toward it. We’d love to have you join us.