Reflections on the 5 Year Anniversary of the NS Mass Casualty
As we face the five year anniversary of the mass casualty that claimed the life of my sister, Lisa McCully, I am once again invited by the media to weigh in on the progress in policing and gender-based violence. To be honest, although it’s been five years, I am still learning to accept the fact that I’m a part of this discussion.
Much has changed within me since that dreaded day. I’ve had phases of healing and hope, and then times of deep despair and rage. It’s been a lot. It doesn’t help that life in the larger world seems so dystopian and disturbed, as we bear witness to so many accounts of brazen abuses of power and little regard for other humans or the earth.
I think the latest stats on intimate partner violence speaks to the need for change, but I believe it’s a deep cultural change that’s really needed, one that addresses the toxic masculinity that’s being modeled today in so many spaces, as well as the socio-economic disadvantages that women still battle.
I’ve been one of the lucky ones who’ve had resources and love around me, but what about those who don’t have such luxuries? I believe the gunman was one of them, stuck in his traumatic past and eventually spiraled into a pathological state of paranoia, delusion and violence.
I wonder what our society would look like if we taught our boys to prioritize emotional literacy and if mental health support was more accessible for them? Given that boys’ mental health continues to be a concern and industries are profiting from hijacking boys’ brains, we’ve got a long and uncertain road ahead.
I wonder what our society would look like if we encouraged our girls to use their voices assertively and if we normalized leadership and financial empowerment for them? Given that women still face obstacles in terms of promotion, financial equity and human rights, we’ve got to keep pushing for better.
Despite all of this, I am heartened when I see young men having brave conversations and honestly sharing about their struggles. I am inspired when I see women courageously speak out against harassment in the workplace or abuse within the home. And I am hopeful that the government will ensure that gender-based violence is at the top of their priorities, where it belongs.
As for me, my recovery journey will last a lifetime because there’s no reclaiming the lives that were lost, or repairing the damage that was done on April 18-19th, 2020. I’m grateful to everyone who’s been a part of my messy life over the last five years, I value you more than you’ll ever know.
One thing’s for sure, our Lisa loved nature, music, children, learning and adventure, and I bow to her each day as I cherish this ‘one wild and precious life’.
5 Comments
Jenny, my heartfelt condolences for your loss of Lisa to this horrific event. It was an honor to hear about your experience during YTT and to witness the continued work and effort you put forth for your individual and the collective healing. Healing PTSD is not a linear journey and sadly the impacts can be life-long. I admire your courage to speak openly about your journey which provides space for those of us who are also healing from trauma(s). Today I will be heading to the beach with my pup, Florence, and will take some time to honor those who lost their lives during this needless massacre. Sending you love and light always. Taira
Dear Jenny
You honour Lisa with the way you lead, love and live your life. Through all of it, the ups and the downs, you remain an authentic spirit. I can only imagine how proud she would be of you. I know I am. Your path and that of so many others was forever changed 5 years ago. I admire how you use your life. It is a privilege to know you.
Thinking of Lisa, her children, your parents, you & your family and all who were forever changed 5 years ago.
Much Love
Kerry
This is SO WELL DONE. Your courage and tenacity throughout that terrible week 5 years ago was an inspiration. It was such a tragedy for so many families and a failure of our society to teach boys to respect girls and women.! I have said for a long time that we need much more support for families where abuse happens. Like you say we need to teach girls how to be assertive in all aspects of their lives. We also need to provide learning opportunies to teach children anger management and emotional intellience. We are failing all of our children in our society right niw. This needs to change. You are teaching people to BE the change that needs to happen. I am so very proud of you and all the struggle through grief that is never ending, and the work it has taken for you to get where you are now.
Thank you for sharing your personal story and for giving us a peek from your perspective of the lasting impact it has on you in losing your sister in such an unfathomably violent way. I appreciate your views/reflections of how to bring positive change to our world and applaud you for your strength and your spirit…sending healing thoughts to you and all the many people who are walking this painful path.
Heartfelt condolences to you,
Mechele
Dearest Jenny,
I am struggling to write this thru my tears. Your words and your recognition of even the smallest movements of our society towards change are inspiring. How Lisa was loved and admired by those of us who grew up together and stayed in touch for the decades that followed.
Please know that you & your family are always in my heart.
Love,
Kirsten